Monday, December 26, 2016

Brace Yourself, Friends, for Our Annual Boxing Day Horror Show

As if real life isn't scary enough these days, it's time for the latest installment in an ongoing project we started three years ago — our annual Boxing Day Horror Show. What's it all about? Well, it's based in large measure on the notion that, unlike our European brethren, too many Americans are eager to head right back to work, or worse, to the malls, on the day after Christmas. We thought it would be a neat public service if we could somehow do something to encourage folks to stay home an extra day to enjoy one another's company and scarf down all the various leftovers. Of course, the lure we chose had to be both fast-acting and short-lived. It had to both keep folks home on the 26th and then kick them out hard the following day. After all, we're Americans. One day's worth of playing hookie is fiercely independent, while anything much longer than that could create another generation of "welfare queens and kings," and there will be none of that around here, thank you very much. Alright then, how about bad holiday movies? Not just bad, you understand — but rather the worst holiday movies we could find. You don't believe it? Check out the Boxing Day posts for each of the past three years, and, assuming you survive the experience, you'll quickly discover that I'm not f*@#ing around here.

This year's winner is the quintessential bad holiday movie, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (1964). This one's a classic. True, if you scout around a bit you'll discover that I've used the movie's theme song to kick off one of my previous holiday mixes. Of course, there's no reason why a really bad movie can't have a pretty cool opening track, right? Now, on with the show:

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