Christmas Cheer - Part 10

With only nine days to go until Christmas, we're getting into the shank of the holiday season. I guess it's only fitting then to discuss several tracks that represent the kind of material I had in mind when I first started putting these mixes together during the first few years of the current millennium. My earliest collections were filled with the tackiest and most grating stuff I could find. Most of the evidence of those original efforts has been destroyed, thankfully, but they didn't include many tracks you'd willingly listen to twice. Over time, I've come to include a more balanced mix of material, but I still sprinkle a little dreck in each mix for flavor, and today we're going to look at three of the dreckiest cuts from Christmas Cheer.

Track 29
Merry Christmas, Elvis, Michele Cody (1978)

I’ve written before about WFMU-FM, which for around ten years offered a treasure trove of internet oddities on its wonderful Beware of The Blog website. I discovered this tune via the first iteration of WFMU’s 365 Days Project, which offered up a unique and typically bizarre aural track each day throughout 2003 It was sufficiently popular and successful that they ran another series in 2007.

Longtime WFMU contributor Dancin’ Dave offered the following introduction to “Merry Christmas, Elvis” back on December 23, 2003:

 

We all know that Nashville is a music town and Nashville kids get into music early. They have "been playin" since they’s babies, get work before they’re two.' For singers, it seems to be about age nine when the urge to perform kicks in. (Although it’s probably the parents who have the urge and not their kids.)

 

Yes, there’s nothing they like better in Nashville than a tiny little girl who sings country music. She doesn’t actually have to sing well. After all, she is only nine. But she gets up there and sings her little heart out, God bless her.

 

I have collected a half dozen singles by these "Little Girls From Nashville' and each one is a crime against nature. (See also "Happy Birthday Jesus” by Little Cindy on November 2nd, number 306, and anything you can find by Rita Faye.) The girls don’t have good voices, the songs are sickeningly treacly, and the lyrics often involve God or the Easter bunny. It all adds up to a perfectly insufferable record.

 

The gem I present for you now has been hand-picked as the worst offender, perhaps the awfullest 45 I own. Released in 1978 on the Safari label, just a year after the passing of The King of Rock ‘n’ Roll, this one has it all: Cloying sentiment, a message to a recently deceased celebrity, and a holiday theme! All wrapped up in two minutes and 31 seconds of pure joy.

 

You may be tempted to listen to the first minute and say "Okay, I’ve heard enough.' But I implore you, listen all the way to the end. There’s a spoken-word section that sends the Cringe-O-Meter to 11.

 

Interestingly, there’s a phone number listed on the label. Is it the number for Safari Records? Or is it Michele Cody’s home number? I must admit, I looked it up. It’s not listed as either. Besides, even if I could track down Michele she’d be about 34, and she’s probably lost that adorable quality that you can only find in only a talentless nine-year-old from Nashville.

I couldn't have said it any better myself.

Hear Linda Hughes’ “(It's A Sad, Sad Time For Me) Elvis Won't Be Here For Xmas” (1977)

Listen to Diana Williams' "Goodbye Bing, Elvis and Guy" (1977)

Track 30
I Want Kristy for Christmas, Craig Malon (1979)

I’ve got really mixed emotions about this track, friends — and I’m still conflicted about whether I should have included it in this year’s mix. On the one hand, it’s the kind of tacky period piece that I usually love. The first time I heard it I felt like I’d been magically transported right back to 1979. I suddenly wanted to flip on an ABC Afterschool Special or catch an episode of Battle of the Network Stars. On the other hand, this song is creepy as hell. I have no idea who Craig Malon is and while I don’t mean to sound judgmental, what kind of man would actually record a song about having a crush on a teenage TV actress? Sometimes it feels like today’s standards are going to hell, but I’m guessing this song would raise an awful lot more concern today than it did back then — and that’s a good thing. So far as I can tell, this is the only tune Craig ever recorded, and that’s probably OK, too.

Kristy McNichol

For younger readers who likely have no idea who she is, Kristy McNichol was a popular child actress in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s best known for her work on the ABC series Family. This show was intended to be an honest depiction of a typical upper-middle-class, suburban family with realistic characters and relatable challenges and struggles. McNichol played the family’s youngest daughter, Buddy, and she earned strong reviews for her work. She won Emmy nominations for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series three years in a row and won in 1977 and 1979. In 1980 she was nominated for an Emmy for Best Actress in a Drama Series. She appeared in over 20 movies from 1978-93 and had roles in more than a dozen other TV shows. As this song suggests, McNichol was also a favorite in the teen and celebrity press.

During the 1990s, McNichol stepped away from acting a couple of different times amidst reports that her busy schedule and career pressures had taken a toll on her. She was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Sometime later she acknowledged that a key cause of her difficulty was the stress associated with hiding her sexuality. McNichol came out as a lesbian and said she hoped doing so would help others who were afraid or being bullied. I suspect Craig Malon did not celebrate McNichol’s announcement, but I wish her a very merry Christmas and hope she’s finally comfortable being herself. 

Track 31
I Want a Hee Haw Honey Under My Christmas Tree, Boxcar Willie (1978)

Finally, we’ve got one more track to share today that is — as a friend of mine used to say — top-heavy with class. This one is something of an homage to that classic down-home variety show Hee Haw, and while there are a number of different versions of the song in circulation, I chose to use the one by Boxcar Willie.

Minnie Pearl

I never really cared for Hee Haw much myself. I thought it was pretty corny, the jokes seemed tired and I’ve never been all that crazy about most country music. There was one thing about the show I did appreciate, and that was the friendly sense of community and camaraderie found in the show. Co-hosts Buck Owens and Roy Clark were as friendly and welcoming as they could be, and the rest of the cast seemed to be relentlessly upbeat and gracious (if not always funny). Minnie Pearl always stuck out most to me, no doubt because she always seemed to wear a hat with the price tag still hanging from it.

I’m told the show was loosely based on Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In, only with a country slant. Even as a kid I preferred Laugh-In, which seemed a lot more topical and relevant. Growing up outside of Boston, the cornfield of Hee Haw seemed pretty remote and foreign to me, and the cast struck me as dull and dowdy compared to the quick-witted and “with it” folks who did the Frug at the crazy Laugh-In parties. I even had a poster in my room featuring Arte Johnson's character, German soldier Wolfgang ("veeeeery eeenteresting!"). I couldn’t see myself hanging a poster of Minnie Pearl anywhere in the house.

I guess the other common element that both shows had was pretty women. Owens and Clark surrounded themselves with good looking younger woman on most episodes of Hee Haw, which is really what this song is all about. This is another song that really wouldn’t get too far today, as it’s out of fashion to think of women as sex symbols. I don’t think women ought to be objectified myself, but I can’t pretend that it doesn’t happen or that men used to openly celebrate that it did. In other words, I think of this song as a period piece that reflects the different sensibilities that were prevalent 30 or 40 years ago.

Network television in the 1950s and ‘60s looked a lot different than what we’re used to seeing in many respects. One of the key lines of demarcation came with the “rural purge” of the early ‘70s largely orchestrated by Fred Silverman, who was in charge of programming at CBS at the time. Data showed that viewers of the many country-style shows on CBS were less responsive to advertising than viewers of more sophisticated programs based in urban and suburban settings. In response, Silverman axed a bunch of successful rural shows including Petticoat Junction, Mayberry RFD, The Beverly Hillbillies, The Jim Nabors Hour, Green Acres — and Hee Haw. They were replaced with such shows as The Mary Tyler Moore Show, All in the Family, The Bob Newhart Show and The Carol Burnett Show, all of which worked more effectively for the sponsors.

 

Watch the Hee Haw Documentary

Just six left to consider and I'll be back one of these days to tackle a few more.

Christmas Cheer - Part 2

We continue our look at the tracks on my latest holiday mix, Christmas Cheer, with background on Tracks 5, 6 and 7.

Track 5
Jingle Mint Twist, Sammy Marshall (1962)

Today's first track is another song poem, and it’s from the TJB Brandes Records label. The artist is the prolific Sammy Marshall, a/k/a Marc Stewart Simpson, or as he’s known on this 45 “Singing Sammy Marshall.” I first ran across the track more than a decade ago in a posting by song-poem aficionado Bob Purse via a post on the wonderful WFMU “Beware of the Blog” site, which is sadly no longer active. As Bob notes, this one doesn’t necessarily establish itself as a holiday song right off. At first blush it seems to be a song about a kind of dance. But there’s at least a tenuous holiday connection via the lyrical instructions to would-dancers to strap some jingle bells around each ankle before commencing any twisting. That sounds good enough to make this a Christmas song in my book. More to the point, it’s good enough for Bob Purse, so “case closed.”

Regular readers of this blog are no doubt familiar with Andy Cirzan, who’s been creating and circulating amazingly good holiday mixes each year for a good many years more than I. We report on Andy’s compilations nearly every year, and he appears on the popular music show Sound Opinions each December to play selections from his latest mix. Andy included “Jingle Mint Twist” on his 2005 mix, so how much more of a Christmas song could this possibly be?

Marshall is among the most prolific artists in the song-poem business, and he’s recorded tunes in a relatively wide range of styles. I include links to several of his non-holiday tunes, below, including a tribute to the late President John F. Kennedy that really tugs at the heartstrings this week, 60 years after that tragic day in Dallas.

Hear Sammy Marshall’s “Bang? Bang? Mr. Badman!”

Hear Sammy Marshall’s “Salt, Salt, Salt”

Hear Sammy Marshall’s “The President’s Eternal Light,” a Tribute to JFK

Review a List of Some of Sammy Marshall’s Releases

Track 6
Holiday Greetings from Dick Van Dyke

Growing up in the 1960s and ‘70s I spent a lot of time watching and listening to Dick Van Dyke. My family enjoyed his very funny network sitcom, of course, which ran on CBS from 1961 to 1966, co-starring Mary Tyler Moore, Rose Marie and Morey Amsterdam. As I kid, though, I especially enjoyed his work in Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, two of the most iconic family movies of that wonderful era. Dick Van Dyke will celebrate his 98th birthday on December 13, and by all accounts he’s still going strong. I featured a wonderful song he recorded with Jane Lynch a few years ago on my 2018 mix, My Christmas Time Philosophy. You can see them perform “We’re Going Caroling” HERE. It’s guaranteed to help put you in the holiday spirit!

On February 29, 2012, Van Dyke, at the age of 86, married Arlene Silver, a 40-year-old make-up artist he met at a Hollywood awards show. 

Programming Note:  CBS will be celebrating Van Dyke's amazing career with a special called “Dick Van Dyke:  98 Years of Magic” that will air Thursday, December 21 from 9 to 11 p.m. on the network. It will also stream live and on demand for Paramount+ subscribers. Paramount+ Essential subscribers can stream the special on demand starting December 22.

See Highlights from the Kennedy Center Honors 2021 Tribute to Dick Van Dyke

Watch an Episode of "This Is Your Life," Celebrating Dick Van Dyke

 

Track 7

Christmas, Dillon Fence (1978)

I don’t know an awful lot about the band Dillon Fence, but I understand they formed in the mid-1980s in Chapel Hill, North Carolina and that their name is taken from an iconic fence made by a bunch of artists in Dillon, South Carolina. The band was signed by Mammoth Records in 1991 and their first release was a three-song EP titled “Christmas.” This song, of course, is the title track. I really like this song a lot — in fact, it’s probably my favorite track on this year’s mix. I guess I’m naturally predisposed to root for a band whose first commercial release was an EP of Christmas songs.

The band released three albums on Mammoth between 1992 and 1995, and they split up after the label rejected their initial demos for a fourth album. The band subsequently regrouped a couple of times to tour in support of their post-separation live album and greatest hits packages. They continue to play occasional shows in North Carolina.

While the principal members of Dillon Fence continued to make music after the bank’s break-up, lead guitarist and chief songwriter Greg Humphreys has perhaps been the most active. In 1996 he founded the soul/funk group Hobex, which was active through 2007. He subsequently recorded a series of solo albums before forming The Greg Humphreys Electric Trio in 2012. Humphreys has also collaborated with Stax recording artist William Bell, who had a Top 10 hit in 1978 with “Trying to Love Two.” 

Hope everyone had a pleasant Thanksgiving and didn't spend more than you can afford today on Black Friday. I'll be back with more someday soon.

Hey! You! Get Off of My Roof - Part 14 and Out

Well, we've made it to the eve of another Christmas holiday, and I've got a few parting thoughts to share about the three remaining tracks on my latest mix for 2022. As I type this from Los Angeles the weather is balmy and pleasant. It's supposed to be 80 degrees and sunny for Christmas tomorrow. The rest of the country is facing below-zero temperatures and in many places it's looking to be a white Christmas. I'm just fine with our warm California forecast, frankly. A green Christmas is just fine with me

On Christmas Eve I like to imagine what's going on in homes around the world — the anticipation, the warmth, the reverence and the memories being honored and made. I hope everyone is feeling at least some kind of magic in the air tonight. It's a magical evening, and a wondrous world.

Track 42
A Spaceman Came Traveling, Chris de Burgh (1975)

I've been aware of this song almost since it was first released, and I guess I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, it's got a certain amount of emotional punch to it — that's undeniable. On the other hand, as a song it  suffers from a little of the same sort of heavy-handed pretentiousness that plague so many of de Burgh's songs. Many people know him only through his one big hit, 1986's "The Lady in Red," which has topped several surveys as the public's most hated popular song ever. I suppose there are several songs I dislike even more than "The Lady in Red," but I can't put my finger on any of them at this moment. 

By contrast, "A Spaceman Came Traveling" has a number of redeeming features, and I think it's the sort of thought-provoking tune that fits awfully well as the final track on a holiday compilation. I understand de Burgh wrote the song after reading Erich von Däniken’s best-selling book Chariots of the Gods?, which suggests that the technology and religions of many ancient civilizations on Earth may have been brought here by interstellar visitors. According to de Burgh, this led him to wonder, "what if the star [of Bethlehem] was a space craft and what if there is a benevolent being or entity in the universe keeping an eye on the world and our foolish things that we do to each other?"

The lyrics of the song are as follows:

A spaceman came traveling on his ship from afar
'Twas light years of time since his mission did start
And over a village, he halted his craft
And it hung in the sky like a star, just like a star

He followed a light and came down to a shed
Where a mother and child were lying there on a bed
A bright light of silver shone round his head
And he had the face of an angel and they were afraid

Then the stranger spoke, he said, do not fear
I come from a planet a long way from here
And I bring a message for mankind to hear
And suddenly the sweetest music filled the air

And it went la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la
Peace and goodwill to all men and love for the child
La la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la, oh

This lovely music went trembling through the ground
And many were awakened on hearing that sound
And travelers on the road
The village they found by the light of that ship in the sky
Which shone all around

And just before dawn at the paling of the sky
The stranger returned and said, now I must fly
When two thousand years of your time has gone by
This song will begin once again to a baby's cry

And it went la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la
This song will begin once again to a baby's cry
And it goes la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la la
Peace and goodwill to all men and love for the child

Oh the whole world is waiting, waiting to hear the song again (la la la la la la la la la)
There are thousands standing on the edge of the world (la la la la la la la la la)
And a star is moving somewhere, the time is nearly here (la la la la la la la la la)
This song will begin once again to a baby's cry

I don't know if there's anything to the thoughts that gave rise to the song, but I've always felt that we know only the tiniest fraction of what there is out there and how things work, and it's comforting to think that a benevolent force has the upper hand somehow.

 
Watch Chris de Burgh performing "A Spaceman Came Traveling" with choir and orchestra

Track 41
All Your Christmases, Santa's Little Helper (1998)

This little clip's been in my voluminous "miscellaneous clips" file for what seems like forever, It's an excerpt from a longer piece that I seem to recall finding somewhere on the WFMU-FM "Beware of the Blog" site that I've written about previously. WFMU is a New Jersey community radio station that specializes in the unusual and offbeat, and while "Beware of the Blog" is no longer updated regularly, the older postings still available are a treasure trove of interesting material. The original version of the track is a seven-minute montage that lifts the word "Christmas" out of a long list of holiday tunes and then pastes the results together to form a lengthy string of holiday madness. For my mix, I figured a much shorter version would suffice. 

In the interests of full disclosure, I've taken certain liberties with the name of the responsible artist as listed above. The actual name of the artist reorders the letters in the first word of the group's title so that instead of "Santa's Little Helper"  it forms the name of "he who cannot be mentioned" — or at least "he whose name maybe shouldn't be mentioned on Christmas." I trust you can figure it out!

Track 40
A Great Big Sled, The Killers (2006)

Last year, I included an awesome song by The Killers on my 2021 compilation Be A Santa! The song was "I Feel It In My Bones," and it was probably my favorite track on last year's mix. It was also the seventh of the 11 annual Christmas tunes The Killers released each year from 2006 through 2016 to benefit Product RED, and its fight to battle HIV, AIDS and other preventable and treatable diseases. This year, I've chosen another holiday song from The Killers' collection — in fact, it's the song that kicked off the tradition, "A Great Big Sled" from 2006.  

I like this one a lot, too. The Killers ended their series of holiday releases in 2016, which is disappointing, but certainly understandable. All told, the 11 holiday songs they released raised over $1 million for Product Red, and dramatically improved the quality of rock's holiday library. And since I've only used two of The Killers' Christmas songs on my compilations to date we still have nine great tracks to use on future mixes.

Purchase one or more of The Killers' 11 Holiday Classic Tunes on amazon.com

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that concludes our presentation of background information on the tracks of this year's mix. A reminder that you should be able to access all of my previous compilations on my holiday music website, HERE.

For those who celebrate the Christmas holiday tomorrow, Merry Christmas! 

Trucker's Salute Offers a Different View of Christmas' Gloomy Gus, Red Sovine

Within a few days of mailing my latest holiday CD to friends and family each year, I can count on a call from my brother with his thoughts about the mix. This year, the first thing he mentioned was the title track, "Is There Really a Santa Claus," by the late great Red Sovine. "That one song," he said "singlehandedly ruined my Christmas." I understand the sentiment. I've used several of Sovine's unique recordings over the years, and each one seems sadder and more pathetic than the one before. After replaying this year's selection, I really do think we've hit rock bottom:



For those who'd rather not subject themselves to Red's gut-wrenching rendition of the whole gruesome story, here's the CliffsNotes edition.  The story is about a widower and his two young children on Christmas Eve. The children's mother had died the previous Christmas, but despite the sad anniversary, they are excited by the prospect of Santa's arrival. "Cut out the nonsense," their father says. "There's no Santa Claus." Well, the children went off to bed with tears in their eyes, but they remembered their poor father in their prayers. This prompted a change of heart in Dad, and he rushes to the store to buy gifts on Santa's behalf. In his haste, however, he is killed by a passing car. The next morning, the newly orphaned tots are overjoyed to find the simple toys they'd asked for from Santa. Since Dad is in the morgue, Red suggests, they must have come from Santa himself. Yikes!

Some of the other little ditties I've used from Red's holiday catalog include "Faith in Santa" (young homeless boy dies in the arms of a street corner Santa Claus), "What Does Christmas Look Like?" (young girl blind from birth wonders what she's missing), and "Here It Is Christmas" (divorced man sobs as he writes his ex-wife on Christmas Eve). These songs all appear on his 1978 LP Christmas with Red Sovine, which was one of the last albums he ever recorded. Sovine's Christmas album reflects the direction his music had taken during the latter part of his career. After years of recording marginally popular country and western music, Sovine had finally found his niche in the mid-'70s with a series of maudlin spoken stories about truckers recorded over a depressing musical background. For example his biggest hit, "Teddy Bear," was about a disabled boy who'd lost his trucker father in an accident and spends his days listening to other truckers on the CB radio. (I just listened to it again, and, as always, it brought tears to my eyes.) Sovine himself died in a motor vehicle accident in 1980. Since then, his music has been widely parodied, for all the obvious reasons.

However, with the glow of the holidays still coloring my home and hearth, I've decided to post what seems to be a heartfelt tribute to Red and his music from a grateful trucker. Red's music was good company on his long drives, he says, and he was grateful to travel with someone who understood the life of someone like him. Here's Tom Lanbert with "A Trucker's Tribute to Red Sovine":



I've got one further Red Sovine story to share this evening — a back story about his hit song "Teddy Bear." This one wasn't merely a hit — it climbed to the top spot on the country music charts almost overnight, and, not surprisingly, Sovine's record company wanted him to milk the story by recording a couple of follow-up records. For whatever reason, Sovine was reluctant to do it, which led a couple of his songwriting pals to write a song called "Teddy Bear's Last Ride," in which young Teddy Bear is killed off. Once he's dead, his pals explained, nobody can pressure you to record any follow-ups. Sovine refused to have anything to do with the song, but it was recorded by a woman named Diana Williams, and to Red's dismay it started to climb the charts. Well, Sovine quickly recorded a song of his own called "Little Joe," in which the real Teddy Bear is not only still alive, but had regained the ability to walk. Sovine's follow-up effectively knocked Diana Williams out of the game, and ended the Teddy Bear saga on a somewhat happier note. Of course, this is a Red Sovine record, so before it ends the narrator loses his sight in a highway accident. If only Red were still around, maybe he could hook that former trucker up with the blind girl from "What Does Christmas Look Like?" Just a thought.

POSTSCRIPT (12.30.14):  Looks like the "Teddy Bear" saga continued even after the release of "Little Joe." Some time later, a guy named John Texas Rocker released a song called "Teddy Bear's Epitaph," in which we learn that the poor little former cripple must have suffered another setback because he's now in heaven using God's CB to keep in touch with his gear-jammer buddies on Earth. There's a scratchy old version of this final monstrosity on WFMU's Beware of the Blog site HERE. As that post notes, this news may help explain what was going on in another of Red Sovine's hits, "Phantom 309." Or not.

Is There Really a Santa Claus, Part 10

I hope everyone had a pleasant pre-holiday weekend and managed to enjoy at least part of it away from the shopping malls. Continuing our look at the contents of my latest holiday mix, here's some information about the next three tracks:

Track 28
Santa Claus on a Helicopter, Wing (2010)
Before I offer any thoughts on this little number, I think you should have a chance to see it on video in its original, unvarnished form. Steel yourself. It's not for the faint of heart:



Wow, huh? Take a moment to recover whilst I slowly give you some background about this very unique artist. (Yes, I know the word unique means "one of a kind" and therefore can't properly be modified by an adjective like "very," which describes degree — but, hey, c'mon … if there was ever a singer who's "very unique," it's got to be Wing, right?) Anyway …

Wing has appeared on my various mixes six times with five different songs. (I inadvertently used her version of "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear" on both Don't Wake the Kids (2005) and Stop Singing Those Dreadful Songs (2006). It was so good, I guess I just got carried away!) This puts her in second place among frequently featured artists, right behind Johnny "Bowtie" Barstow (7 tracks) and just before Red Sovine (4). Raised in Taiwan, Wing emigrated to New Zealand sometime before the most recent turn of the century. She settled in the Auckland area, where she began to sing on a volunteer basis at various hospitals, rest homes and sanatoria. Several patients apparently urged her to record an album, and, not subject to the oversight of a conservator or guardian yet herself, Wing obliged them with Phantom of the Opera, a collection of songs from the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical. This was followed by a string of CDs featuring various assortments of standards and popular hits. Despite, or perhaps because of, her unconventional style, Wing's recordings began to attract increasing numbers of fans, largely via the internet. In 2005, she expanded her repertoire by recording a series of tribute albums to various groups including the Beatles, the Carpenters, Elvis Presley and AC/DC. That same year, she guest starred as herself on an episode of South Park, called Wing. The singer's first U.S. performance took place in San Francisco on her one-stop "Wing Over America" tour in 2007, and she returned in 2008 to perform at the popular SXSW Festival in Austin, Texas. She's also appeared on television many times, including a live performance of Michael Jackson's hit "Beat It," which you really have to see to believe.

In recent years, Wing's style has evolved in a somewhat different direction as a result of her collaboration with writer/producer Rappy McRapperson. The two first joined forces on the CD Stop the Nonsense (2010), which was followed in quick succession by Wing Sings For All The Single Ladies And Raps For All The Safe Parties (2010) and Carols, Rap and Sing; A Beautiful Christmas (2010). These releases were marked by an emphasis on original songs with topical messages to today's young people. For example, "Stop Smoking Crack" warns against recreational drug use, while "Safe Computer" has something to do with computers (I think): 

Computer sing,
Computer swing.
Computer walk,
Computer moonwalk.

Yeah lets go,
Wiki, Wiki, Wiki, Wiki, Wikipedia.
Wiki, Wiki, Wiki, Wiki, Wikipedia.
Firewall make our computer safe.
Computer.

Stuck up in the clock,
Looking fast like that,
Then safe computer,
Safe computer.
Internet,

Thirty minutes conversation,
Save it.
A good life.
Live it.
Computer dance,
We just beat it.

© Copyright - wing han tsang / wing han tsang (885767652927)

Wing has released 22 albums and EPs to date, including two holiday CDs. The first of these, Everyone Sings Carols with Wing, features ten carols, including three that are sung in Chinese. "Santa Claus on a Helicopter" appears on Wing's second holiday release, Carols, Rap and Sing; A Beautiful Christmas, which, as Wilson and Alroy's Record Reviews point out, is one of the few album titles to include a semicolon. The album consists of just five tracks. Wing was clearly going for quality over quantity. One of the five tracks is her version of "Hallelujah," written by the great Leonard Cohen and originally released on his 1984 album Various Positions. Here, too, Wing's version is extremely unique (see ¶2, above). You've almost certainly heard the song before, It's been featured in dozens of movies and TV shows and recorded by more than 300 different artists. The song is the subject of a fascinating book, The Holy or the Broken: Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley & the Unlikely Ascent of "Hallelujah" (2012), by former Rolling Stone critic Alan Light. I don't believe anyone but Wing has recorded "Santa Claus on a Helicopter" to date, but then again the truly great songs can sometimes seem a little too intimidating to attempt.

A few final thoughts:  First, Wing offers a unique (there's that word again) "singing service" to her listeners and fans. For a modest fee, Wing will call the phone number of your choosing and sing one of her songs to the person you identify. I had her call a friend of mine on his birthday several years ago to sing him the "Happy Birthday" song, and I'm pretty sure he has yet to recover from the experience. Details on the service are available HERE. Second, despite the my snarky comments, I honestly like Wing. True, I can't tolerate her singing for more than 10 or 15 seconds at a time, but when you consider her as a complete package, there's something especially endearing about the woman. She seems to love what she's doing and her enthusiasm is contagious. Moreover, she genuinely appears to care about others, whether it's the invalids she sang to at her first sanatorium performance or the stoner teens she's trying to reach with her heartfelt anti-crack message. Mark me down as a "Wing nut." It's not the first time I've been on such a list. Finally, there are actually three different versions of this year's mix in circulation, one of which features a short "hidden track" that follows Wing's offering. If you're lucky enough to have received the version with this hidden track, you'll know right away who performed the track and what it's about. In fairness, I have to admit the underlying piece was edited slightly, but the result is probably a more honest statement about the speaker's true beliefs than the original version was.

Track 27

Santa's Coming on a Whirlybird, by Little Lance and His Friends (1960)
Unfortunately, I don't have very much information to share about this track, which I accidentally stumbled across a few years ago on the Dr. Demento website. Demento, otherwise known as Barret Eugene "Barry" Hansen, is a radio broadcaster and record collector who specializes in offbeat and novelty records. He hosts a weekly internet show that features episodes that are largely organized around specific themes. At least one or two of the shows each December boast holiday themes, and they're a good source for unusual Christmas tunes and holiday comedy. I happened to spot "Santa's Coming on a Whirlybird" in one of my files shortly after I'd selected Wing's helicopter-related nightmare for this year's mix, and I thought the two songs belonged together.

Track 26
Merry Christmas, by Sue and Mike (1971)
This little number has got to be among the oddest of the many odd lots I've featured on my various mixes, and once I fill you in a bit on its history it's going to seem that much odder still. Its origins trace back to a post on Beware of the Blog, run out of free-form radio station WFMU-FM, broadcasting at 91.1 FM in New York and 90.1 FM in the Hudson Valley. There aren't a whole lot of free-form radio stations left today in this land of the free, and that's an awful shame. There aren't many blogs like Beware of the Blog, either. Over the years, it's been the source for more than a few of my holiday mix tracks as well as a bunch of graphics, movies and soundbites I've used elsewhere. The posts are less frequent and less interesting than they used to be, but it's definitely worth a look.

The short clip on my mix was created using the raw audio that was posted on the blog on December 26, 2010. One of the blog's regular contributors collects reel-to-reel tapes that he's found at various garage sales, thrift shops and elsewhere, many of which contain fascinating slices of life,. This was the case with some tapes that were apparently recorded during the 1971 Christmas season by a couple of graduating college students from Omaha, Nebraska, named Sue and Mike. The two had been married for around a year, and it sounds as though the tapes were made to be sent to their parents to make them feel as though they were a part of their holiday festivities.

What struck me most as I listened to their tapes was how different they seem compared to today's college students. Had I not known they were finishing college, I would have guessed they were much older. Of course, if they were making the tapes for their parents, they were no doubt trying to sound more serious and mature than they may have been; but they seem more middle-age in their outlook than young 20-somethings. Consider for a moment how much our culture has changed from their time to today — music, movies, TV, fashion, design, media, technology. My mind hurts just thinking about it.

The excerpt I've included in my mix was actually repackaged from the raw audio by San Francisco producer Matt Valerio, also known as Bomarr, or, formerly, the Bomarr Monk. He creates a dynamic new holiday mix each year, and the clip I chose was first released on his Wild Xmas with Bomarr, vol. 6. I really like what he came up with:




Of course the big question that remains is what ever happened to Sue and Mike? Despite the efforts of several curious WFMU listeners, they have yet to be located. Assuming they were in their early 20s when they made their tapes, they'd be around 65 years old today. Wherever they are, we know they had a lot of fun during the long-ago Christmas season of 1971.

I didn't include this clip on this year's mix, but Bomarr released a second clip from the Sue and Mike chronicles, which you can hear below:




Read the Beware of the Blog Posting about Sue and Mike's Holiday Tapes

Listen to Sue and Mike's Christmas 1971 Tape, Part 1

Listen to Sue and Mike's Christmas 1971 Tape, Part 2

Listen to Sue and Mike's Christmas 1971 Tape, Part 3

Listen to Sue and Mike's Christmas 1971 Tape, Part 4

Visit the Bomarr Blog, featuring Bomarr's Wild Xmas Mixes