Yes, It's Boxing Day . . . and Our Friends from the North Have Gifted Us with an Interplanetary Horror Show called "The Christmas Martian"

From my earliest memories, December 26 has been a day of decidedly mixed emotions. Sure, there are new toys and presents to enjoy, as well as a generous spread of leftover food and drink. And of course there are warm memories of the fellowship and fun of the preceding days. But there's also the let-down that invariably follows any big celebration, and for many of us age 16 and over the reality of the deferred costs incurred. 

In many parts of the world, December 26 is celebrated as Boxing Day, which extends the merriment and postpones the inevitable. At this address we've chosen to mark the day in a more realistic if not sadistic fashion by sharing some of the very worst holiday movies available in what we call out annual Boxing Day Horror Show. Think of it as a bucket of ice water to the face after a warm night by the fire.

This year's selection is a Canadian flick with a space-age theme called "The Christmas Martian." It takes place in a small town in Quebec province, where bizarre things have been happening. Residents have been seeing strange objects in the sky at night. A local shopkeeper sees an odd-looking character stumble into his store, wolf down a bunch of snacks and run away. A taxi driver sees a funny-looking woman come out of a phone booth and fly off into the air. As the grown-ups begin to investigate, Frankie and Kathy discover strange looking tracks in the snow while out looking for a Christmas tree. The tracks lead them to a spaceship and a visiting Martian wearing a fishnet stocking on his face who tempts them with candy and introduces them to a world beyond our own. As Frankie and Kathy get to know their new friend, the adults in town make a muck out of everything — and on Christmas, of all days! 

The story is bizarre, the dialogue is tacky, the special effects are awful — it's just the sort of thing you'd expect of our Boxing Day Horror Show!

The full video is no longer available on YouTube, but you can catch it for free for a limited time on Tubi, right HERE. 

To set the stage, here's a review of what you're in for. Don't say we didn't warn you!

I hope everyone had a pleasant Christmas and that we've managed to prepare you for the necessary return to reality with another miserable holiday movie. Want some further punishment? Check out some of our previous Boxing Day Horror Shows by way of the following links:

Watch Our 2012 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus"

Watch Our 2014 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny"

Watch Our 2015 Boxing Day Horror Show, "The Magic Christmas Tree"

Watch Our 2016 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"

Watch Our 2017 Boxing Day Horror Show, "A Visit to Santa"

Watch Our 2018 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen"

Watch Our 2022 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa with Muscles"

This Year's Boxing Day Horror Show Makes You Feel Worse than a Trip to the Gym

It's December 26 — the day after Christmas, or what the nations that formerly made up the British Empire (and a number of other countries, too) call Boxing Day. The holiday is named for the custom among the British aristocracy of providing service workers and the underprivileged boxed gifts of household items to clear room for the many new gifts that had been received the day before on Christmas. Over time, Boxing Day became less about gift-giving and more about an extra day off. Stores and other businesses remain closed on December 26, and people tend to stay home with their families to enjoy the good feelings kindled during the preceding two days. There's lots of laughter and fellowship and plenty of leftovers to share, and everyone benefits from an extra day away from the cares of everyday life. Boxing Day never quite caught on here in the United States, Here, the 26th of December typically means a trip to the mall to return the gifts we didn't like, and maybe picking up an extra helping of fried dough or something.

I like the idea of extending the Christmas holiday myself. Families should be allowed to stay together an extra day as the food and refreshments run out and the fun of opening presents has ended. Let everyone stay cooped up together as they're running out of clean clothes and the hangover of overspending on gifts begins. In that spirit, we started a fun little tradition ten years ago called the Boxing Day Holiday Horror Show. It involves posting a perfectly dreadful holiday movie to allow folks to really wallow in the after-Christmas blues. There's no better way to double-down on the feelings of guilt and angst that typically overwhelm us anyway on the day after Christmas.

This year's horror show is called Santa with Muscles, a 1996 feature starring Hulk Hogan and (sadly) Ed Begley, Jr. (whom I usually like). Hogan plays a conceited millionaire with a fitness business who runs afoul of the law and dons a Santa suit at the mall in an effort to evade the police. Ordinarily in movies, this is where the fun begins, but there's no fun to be had here. As one of the more favorable reviews of the film explains, this movie is

[b]ad, bad, bad, BAD. With the possible exception of Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, Santa With Muscles is not only the worst Christmas movie ever made, but it is one of the worst that could be made … ever. Weighing in at a whopping 2.4 at IMDB and ranked in the bottom 100 movies of all time, you know it is going to be beyond terrible, and it was. Nothing other than actually watching this 97 minutes of Hell can prepare you for how incompetent this movie actually was.

So find a comfortable place to sit, grab a big hunk of fruitcake and do your best to endure this year's Boxing Day Horror Show:

Need still more punishment? Why not revisit some of our previous horror shows, But be advised that Santa with Muscles is a five-star Academy Award winner compared to most of the films below:

Watch Our 2012 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus"

Watch Our 2014 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny"

Watch Our 2015 Boxing Day Horror Show, "The Magic Christmas Tree"

Watch Our 2016 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"

Watch Our 2017 Boxing Day Horror Show, "A Visit to Santa"

Watch Our 2018 Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen"

It's the "Have We Hit Rock Bottom Yet?" Edition of the Boxing Day Horror Show

Greetings, Dear Readers, and welcome to another edition of the Boxing Day Horror Show, an annual event in which we post a perfectly dreadful holiday-themed video each December 26 in order to help the transition from the excitement and anticipation of the pre-Christmas season to the melancholy and torpor of the dreadful hangover that follows. Think of it as a pail of ice water to the face as you're nodding off in your favorite armchair in front of a crackling fire. BACK TO REALITY, EVERYONE!

Let's start by taking stock:

• We've got a president who took office despite receiving some 3 million fewer votes than his competitor who cheerfully allowed the federal government to be shut down just days before Christmas as a means of securing billions of dollars to build a useless wall on our southern border to mollify the racist minions that put him in office;

• An ongoing investigation into this same president's alleged collusion with our country's enemies has already led to a slew of resignations and indictments as well as evidence that the president conspired to violate federal election law by paying off a woman he is alleged to have slept with while his wife was at home with their newborn son;

• In the midst of destroying our relationships with our best longstanding allies, our current president seems intent on cozying up to some of the most dangerous dictators in history . . . 

No, no, no -- I'm not going down that road today. This is a holiday music blog and as angry as I am about the disgraceful state of our national affairs at the moment I shall try to keep those issues off to the side as much as possible. But let's not soon forget that this president ridiculed a 7-year-old girl on Christmas Eve for still believing in Santa Claus. Anyone left out there who doesn't think that our current president isn't fit to shine Franklin Pierce's or Warren Harding's boots?

So it's on to this year's show, Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen, a 1951 train wreck produced by Sid Davis, who is best known for creating a string of "social guidance" films, which his Los Angeles Times obituary describes as "dark, cautionary tales crafted to frighten captive classroom audiences away from even thinking about misbehaving."  A friend and former movie stand-in for John Wayne, Davis got his start as an extra in the "Our Gang" series in the 1930s. A high school drop-out, he claims his penchant for preachy, judgmental motion pictures was based on his interest in helping young people avoid some of the mistakes he'd made. I have to admit that this makes me look at his works in a whole new light. Kind of makes me think a bit more about the title of this one, too.

Now, please enjoy Santa and the Fairy Snow Queen:

Boxing Day Horror Show for 2017

Several years ago, this blog started an inspiring little tradition to help our readers adjust to the end of the holiday season by posting the most dreadful holiday movie imaginable each Boxing Day.Why? Oh, I don't know. It seemed like a good way to bridge that huge divide between the thrills and beauty of Christmas and the despair and let-down of the following day. I can assure you of one thing, we'll be able to test out this theory for quite a few more seasons yet as there is an awful lot of dreadful material out there. And I'm not talking about three or four stars on a five-point scale. I'm talking about vile, nauseating films that leave you wondering how in the name of God anyone outside of a sheltered workshop would ever have anything to do with them,

Take this year's selection, for instance: "A Visit to Santa," the 13-minute short released by Clem Williams Films back in 1963. There's no evidence that Clem Williams Films ever released a follow-up to this winner -- or anything else, for that matter. Once you see this, it's pretty clear why. Please enjoy this year's Boxing Day Holiday Horror Show feature, "A Visit to Santa."

Brace Yourself, Friends, for Our Annual Boxing Day Horror Show

As if real life isn't scary enough these days, it's time for the latest installment in an ongoing project we started three years ago — our annual Boxing Day Horror Show. What's it all about? Well, it's based in large measure on the notion that, unlike our European brethren, too many Americans are eager to head right back to work, or worse, to the malls, on the day after Christmas. We thought it would be a neat public service if we could somehow do something to encourage folks to stay home an extra day to enjoy one another's company and scarf down all the various leftovers. Of course, the lure we chose had to be both fast-acting and short-lived. It had to both keep folks home on the 26th and then kick them out hard the following day. After all, we're Americans. One day's worth of playing hookie is fiercely independent, while anything much longer than that could create another generation of "welfare queens and kings," and there will be none of that around here, thank you very much. Alright then, how about bad holiday movies? Not just bad, you understand — but rather the worst holiday movies we could find. You don't believe it? Check out the Boxing Day posts for each of the past three years, and, assuming you survive the experience, you'll quickly discover that I'm not f*@#ing around here.

This year's winner is the quintessential bad holiday movie, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" (1964). This one's a classic. True, if you scout around a bit you'll discover that I've used the movie's theme song to kick off one of my previous holiday mixes. Of course, there's no reason why a really bad movie can't have a pretty cool opening track, right? Now, on with the show:

Here's Your Boxing Day Horror Show for 2015: Magic Christmas Tree

Several years back, we started a perfectly awful post-holiday tradition that we thought was in keeping with the emotional angst so many of us suffer from on the day after Christmas. In many parts of the world, the 26th of December is celebrated as Boxing Day. Stores and other businesses remain closed, and people tend to stay home with their families to enjoy the good feelings kindled during the preceding two days. There's lots of laughter and fellowship and plenty of leftovers to share, and everyone benefits from an extra day away from the cares of everyday life. In our country, unfortunately, the the 26th of December typically means a trip to the mall to return the gifts we didn't like, and maybe pick up an extra helping of fried dough or something.

So, in order to coax people to at least consider staying close to home and hearth, we've taken to posting a choice holiday movie from the dreadful bin on Boxing Day – you know, a movie so bad it's good. Well, this year's selection certainly qualifies. Filmed in 1964 "on an extremely low budget," this year's feature is Magic Christmas Tree, which has been called "one of the worst and most depressing holiday films of all time."  Get ready for this year's Boxing Day Horror Show:




Haven't had enough horror for one day?

Watch Last Year's Horror Show, "Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny"


Watch Our First Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus"

Here's a Post-Christmas Mess for Boxing Day: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Ah, yes, it's the day after Christmas, which has to rank up there among the most emotionally confusing days of the year. On the one hand, there's the afterglow that follows what was hopefully a wonderful holiday; but, on the other, there's the need to clean-up all the mess and deal with the costs of the whole enterprise, not to mention the sad reality that the "days until Christmas" clock has been reset and we've got 365 days until next Christmas. The British have long celebrated the 26th of December as Boxing Day, which provides many folks with an extra day off from work. It's a custom I heartily applaud. The name comes from the traditional practice whereby families of means would box-up those things they no longer needed and give them to the less fortunate to make room for new gifts they'd received. I have no idea whether this practice is currently observed, but I hope it is. At the very least, everyone gets an extra day off of work, which makes good sense, especially when, as is the case this year, there would otherwise be a single working day between Christmas and the weekend.

In 2012, I seized on Boxing Day as an excuse to share a perfectly dreadful film from Mexico called Santa Claus. Effective today, I'd like to launch a new Boxing Day Tradition, such that every December 26 from now on we'll post another monstrously bad holiday-related movie to take our collective minds off how much we overspent, overate and/or overindulged this season. This year's feature isn't just a Christmas film, but a two-holiday blast of ill wind called Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. If you watched any of the Santa Claus movie I posted two years ago, this one, believe it or not, is worse!

This is actually a movie within a movie, as the Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny storylines are featured on either side of a lengthy separate story that seems to have little to do with the footage that precedes and follows it. The story in the middle has something to do with Thumbelina. It starts at 20:46 and ends at 1:23:03, and, as several others have pointed out, has production values that are slightly higher than the holiday-related nightmare on either side.

With that as introduction, let's all take a look at this year's Boxing Day Holiday Horror Show: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny:

A Christmas Horror Show for Boxing Day

Imagine hearing your favorite Christmas carols sung by a choir consisting of Johnny "Bowtie" Barstow, William Hung, Tiny Tim, Regis Philbin and Wing, and imagine they're all singing really loud, with a cameo appearance toward the end by Donald Trump (just like in Regis Philbin's version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer). Well, I think I've found the cinematic equivalent of that train wreck, and it's called Santa Claus, a 1959 film noir by Mexican director Rene Cardona. Although it was apparently conceived as a children's movie, the plot involves a blood feud between Santa Claus and Satan — hardly the sort of thing I'd want my children watching, thanks. What's more, in a contest to determine which of these two characters is more terrifying, I'm inclined to give a slight edge to this film's version of Santa, who appears positively demonic, especially during the first few minutes. He does become slightly more sympathetic in time (with an emphasis on the pathetic), but only after he's chased up a tree by a small dog and appears almost too infirm to climb in and out of his sleigh. If your taste in films leans toward the bizarre and you've got time to kill on Boxing Day, you might give this film a look. But make sure there are no children around. (Thanks to Listener Mindwrecker on WFMU's Beware of the Blog.)