Here's Your Boxing Day Horror Show for 2015: Magic Christmas Tree

Several years back, we started a perfectly awful post-holiday tradition that we thought was in keeping with the emotional angst so many of us suffer from on the day after Christmas. In many parts of the world, the 26th of December is celebrated as Boxing Day. Stores and other businesses remain closed, and people tend to stay home with their families to enjoy the good feelings kindled during the preceding two days. There's lots of laughter and fellowship and plenty of leftovers to share, and everyone benefits from an extra day away from the cares of everyday life. In our country, unfortunately, the the 26th of December typically means a trip to the mall to return the gifts we didn't like, and maybe pick up an extra helping of fried dough or something.

So, in order to coax people to at least consider staying close to home and hearth, we've taken to posting a choice holiday movie from the dreadful bin on Boxing Day – you know, a movie so bad it's good. Well, this year's selection certainly qualifies. Filmed in 1964 "on an extremely low budget," this year's feature is Magic Christmas Tree, which has been called "one of the worst and most depressing holiday films of all time."  Get ready for this year's Boxing Day Horror Show:




Haven't had enough horror for one day?

Watch Last Year's Horror Show, "Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny"


Watch Our First Boxing Day Horror Show, "Santa Claus"

Here's a Post-Christmas Mess for Boxing Day: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny

Ah, yes, it's the day after Christmas, which has to rank up there among the most emotionally confusing days of the year. On the one hand, there's the afterglow that follows what was hopefully a wonderful holiday; but, on the other, there's the need to clean-up all the mess and deal with the costs of the whole enterprise, not to mention the sad reality that the "days until Christmas" clock has been reset and we've got 365 days until next Christmas. The British have long celebrated the 26th of December as Boxing Day, which provides many folks with an extra day off from work. It's a custom I heartily applaud. The name comes from the traditional practice whereby families of means would box-up those things they no longer needed and give them to the less fortunate to make room for new gifts they'd received. I have no idea whether this practice is currently observed, but I hope it is. At the very least, everyone gets an extra day off of work, which makes good sense, especially when, as is the case this year, there would otherwise be a single working day between Christmas and the weekend.

In 2012, I seized on Boxing Day as an excuse to share a perfectly dreadful film from Mexico called Santa Claus. Effective today, I'd like to launch a new Boxing Day Tradition, such that every December 26 from now on we'll post another monstrously bad holiday-related movie to take our collective minds off how much we overspent, overate and/or overindulged this season. This year's feature isn't just a Christmas film, but a two-holiday blast of ill wind called Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny. If you watched any of the Santa Claus movie I posted two years ago, this one, believe it or not, is worse!

This is actually a movie within a movie, as the Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny storylines are featured on either side of a lengthy separate story that seems to have little to do with the footage that precedes and follows it. The story in the middle has something to do with Thumbelina. It starts at 20:46 and ends at 1:23:03, and, as several others have pointed out, has production values that are slightly higher than the holiday-related nightmare on either side.

With that as introduction, let's all take a look at this year's Boxing Day Holiday Horror Show: Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny:

A Christmas Horror Show for Boxing Day

Imagine hearing your favorite Christmas carols sung by a choir consisting of Johnny "Bowtie" Barstow, William Hung, Tiny Tim, Regis Philbin and Wing, and imagine they're all singing really loud, with a cameo appearance toward the end by Donald Trump (just like in Regis Philbin's version of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer). Well, I think I've found the cinematic equivalent of that train wreck, and it's called Santa Claus, a 1959 film noir by Mexican director Rene Cardona. Although it was apparently conceived as a children's movie, the plot involves a blood feud between Santa Claus and Satan — hardly the sort of thing I'd want my children watching, thanks. What's more, in a contest to determine which of these two characters is more terrifying, I'm inclined to give a slight edge to this film's version of Santa, who appears positively demonic, especially during the first few minutes. He does become slightly more sympathetic in time (with an emphasis on the pathetic), but only after he's chased up a tree by a small dog and appears almost too infirm to climb in and out of his sleigh. If your taste in films leans toward the bizarre and you've got time to kill on Boxing Day, you might give this film a look. But make sure there are no children around. (Thanks to Listener Mindwrecker on WFMU's Beware of the Blog.)

Hooray! Hooray! It's Boxing Day!

The day after Christmas is typically a bittersweet occasion. On the one hand, there are warm memories of the previous day spent with family and friends, plenty of leftover food and sweets, and, hopefully, some thoughtful gifts to enjoy. On the other hand, there's that let-down feeling that inevitably follows anything good, not to mention guests who just won't leave, mountains of unappetizing food you end up eating anyway just because it's there, and those fun-filled visits to the gift exchange counters to return whatever ill-fitting or distasteful gifts you received. Like so much of life, it's all in how you look at things. Since Christmas this year fell on Sunday, many businesses will remain closed today in order to provide employees with a separate paid day off for Christmas over and above the Sunday off that most would have had in any event. This puts us on par with the British, who for years have extended their Christmas holiday through the 26th to commemorate Boxing Day. The purpose, supposedly, was to facilitate the traditional practice whereby the wealthy would box up whatever stuff they no longer wanted for their servants to cart off as part of the post-Christmas clean-up. That's a nice custom, I suppose, but so, too, is allowing folks an extra day to buy more stuff at the mall, push the last guests out the door, or nibble away at what's left of the holiday roast. What's more, an extra day's holiday would allow time for some appropriate post-holiday music, like any of the following tunes (click on the title of each to listen or download):

Boxing Day, by Dave Kleiner and Liz Pagan -- Written by third-grade teacher Dave Kleiner, this song successfully captures the mix of emotions so many of us feel on the day after Christmas. It features Dennis Diken of the Smithereens on drums, and Graham Maby of the Joe Jackson Band on bass.

After Christmas Syndrome, by A-Side Willie -- This song was written and performed by Geoffrey Willis, who adopted the name "A-Side Willie" after winning first place in a St. Louis songwriting contest and, as a result, the featured spot on the "A side" of the 45 RPM record that was produced in conjunction with the competition. It also captures the peculiar angst of this day rather well. A-Side also composed "A New Song for Old 66" which he wrote in honor of the famous California highway. 

I've Had a Very Merry Christmas, by Jerry Lewis -- This song has the distinction of spending more time than any other track on my "hold for next year's CD" list. I've considered using it on each of my past five holiday CDs but decided against it every time. I think that's because rather than expressing gratitude for a pleasant holiday, as the title suggests, this song is the product of a spoiled ingrate who feels compelled to complain about the many gifts he received. The title, in other words, is meant to be sarcastic. I figure since I'm posting it here today, I no longer need to consider it for next year's CD. Does that sound fair to you? (PS:  Lest you think that Mr. Lewis's resentment is unique, some poor wretch appears to have spent a good part of the past 24 hours combing through people's Christmas tweets to find similar examples of boorish ingratitude. I'm hoping many of THESE were written in jest, but I wouldn't bet on it.)

Hang in there, everybody. Next Sunday is New Year's Day, and, therefore, time for a fresh start.