Several years ago, this blog started an inspiring little tradition to help our readers adjust to the end of the holiday season by posting the most dreadful holiday movie imaginable each Boxing Day.Why? Oh, I don't know. It seemed like a good way to bridge that huge divide between the thrills and beauty of Christmas and the despair and let-down of the following day. I can assure you of one thing, we'll be able to test out this theory for quite a few more seasons yet as there is an awful lot of dreadful material out there. And I'm not talking about three or four stars on a five-point scale. I'm talking about vile, nauseating films that leave you wondering how in the name of God anyone outside of a sheltered workshop would ever have anything to do with them,
Take this year's selection, for instance: "A Visit to Santa," the 13-minute short released by Clem Williams Films back in 1963. There's no evidence that Clem Williams Films ever released a follow-up to this winner -- or anything else, for that matter. Once you see this, it's pretty clear why. Please enjoy this year's Boxing Day Holiday Horror Show feature, "A Visit to Santa."
These next three tracks will drag us across the half-way point for this year's mix, so let's get right to it:
Track 19 Christmas Seals Promotional Spot, by George Takei
George Takei
After adding the two Mark Jonathan Davis clips featuring Lt. Hikaru Sulu on the bridge of the Enterprise (Tracks 8 and 15 from this year's mix), I did a quick internet search to see if I could find any holiday-themed audio featuring George Takei, the actor who played Lt. Sulu on the Star Trek series. This Christmas Seals promotion was the first and best clip I found, although the "Oh myyyy" tagline at the end wasn't in the original promo, but rather copied and added from one of Takei's many appearances on the Howard Stern program. The rich baritone of Takei's "Oh My" has become something of an audio meme of Takei's, and well it might be. It's an appropriate comment on this actor's rather amazing career history. As a child, he was forced into a World War II internment camp in California due solely to his family's Japanese heritage. As an adult, he became a moderately successful actor, best known for his work on Star Trek. But it's only in the past decade that he's reached the highest levels of popular recognition and popularity, and that's due primarily to his coming out as a gay man and his tireless advocacy for the rights of the LGBT community. Takei's odyssey is well-described by a recent New York Times profileabout his role as a gay icon. It's hard not to be wowed by how much progress he and the rest of us have made over the past 75 years. But as Takei himself would no doubt agree, it's frightening to contemplate how precarious this progress truly is as a result of the current administration in Washington.
Track 18 Mrs. Claus's Kimono, by Drive By Truckers (2009)
I believe this is the very first track on any of my 20-plus holiday CDs over the past 17 years to merit a parental warning, but I included it nonetheless because I've become such a fan of the group that recorded it. They're called the Drive-By Truckers and while they're currently based in Athens, Georgia, the two lead vocalists who also write most of their songs (Mike Cooley and Patterson Hood) are both from the Shoals region of Northwestern Alabama, and their home state plays a prominent role in a lot of their music. The band got started a little over 20 years ago and they've built up a loyal following as a result of their heavy touring schedule and substantial library of fine material. I'm embarrassed to say that I knew little about the band until I happened to hear a few tracks from their powerful album American Bandshortly after its release in 2016. It's a courageous album in a bunch of different respects, from the opening notes of "Ramon Casiano," which tells the story of the militant former National Rifle Association leader who shot a 15-year-old Hispanic youngster near the Mexican border to "Baggage," in which Patterson Hood reflects on his own struggles with depression in the wake of comedian Robin Williams' suicide. It's a driving, guitar-based album marked by the band's deeply-held political views, the proud Southern sensibilities of its members and the conflicts that sometimes arise between these two powerful forces. The track that first caught my attention was "What It Means":
I've always enjoyed introducing friends to new music I like, and its been years since I've followed the music scene closely enough to be able to do that very often. About the closest I can come today is sticking the occasional odd track on one of my holiday mixes, which I'm not above doing. After falling hard for this band last year I was determined to find something holiday-related that I could use on last year's compilation, "Let It Snow," but the only track I could find was this crazy number about a guy who conspires with red-nosed Rudolph to get Santa arrested on drug charges so he can bed Mrs. Claus. It was way too raunchy for my holiday mix, I thought -- after all, there are lots of kids who listen to these things. In fact, I'm certain that at least a couple of my friends have yet to listen to a one of them but rather give them immediately to the little ones to play.
But that was last year, and things sure have changed a lot in the past 12 months. God knows the children of this country have been exposed to lots worse than a couple of risque lyrics since Mr. Trump took the oath of office, and unlike most of his shameful shenanigans, this song just a made-up story. Well, come to think of it, nearly everything he says seems to be a made-up story, too. Anyhow, I doubt that this song is going to hurt anyone . . . and it's a whole lot of fun.
Track 17 We Three Kings, by Rev. Horton Heat (2005)
I would have bet anything that I'd included at least one track from the good Rev. Horton Heat on one or more previous mixes of mine, but I've just checked and it seems this is the first. Rev. Heat, of course, is the stage name of both musician Jim Heath and his Dallas-based psychobilly band of renown. Their 2005 album We Three Kings is a treasure trove of Christmas classics that are just off enough to be interesting but not so odd as to raise a whole bunch of eyebrows if you were to bring it along to a holiday gathering (speaking hypothetically, of course). Try bringing a copy of Johnny "Bowtie" Barstow's album to your next party and see how well that works out!
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Tonight is Christmas Eve — a night of pure magic for most kids and for many adults as well. None of us is ever too old to search for and even to find some small doses of magic from time to time. Whatever you do and whoever you are I hope you can find some in this wonderful season and that when you do, you can pass it on.
Back soon with more jottings on the remaining 18 tracks of this year's mix.
Another Saturday night -- the last before Christmas -- and that means it's time for us to raid the SNL vault for another vintage holiday flashback. With the Big Day just a little over 24 hours away, we couldn't decide whether to go with despair or elation as today's theme, so we opted for one of each. First up, nothing says despair quite like Debbie Downer, whose practical yet cheerless take on life manages to even bring Santa down:
And what's better to bring everyone up real fast than Sue the Surprise Lady? Watch up that you don't get the bends, as Debbie Downer would be quick to remind us:
Here we come with notes on four more of this year's tracks, including the second of the 12 songs on this year's mix that pay homage to one of the many entertainers we lost during 2017. Since we first started recognizing recently departed entertainers in this way several years ago the list of recent deaths has grown longer with each passing year, and this year's list includes some real superstars and trailblazers. Here are the next four tracks:
Track 16 It's Christmas Time Again, by Harley Poe (2006) I ran across this little gem on an EP from several years ago called "A Very Standard Christmas," which featured holiday tunes from artists on the Standard Recording Records label. It's by a group named Harley Poe, which has been described as a "[h]orror infused folk punk act out of Kokomo, Indiana." With a rap like that, you just know these guys have got to be infused with the Christmas spirit, right? The band was formed by the former lead singer of Calibretto 13, a "Christian surf punk band" (I kid you not), only I'm told that Harley Poe dropped the Christian angle. Another blogger describes the act this way:
Horror-folk artist Harley Poe is one of the fright scene’s best-kept secrets. He’s kinda like Voltaire, but less pretentious and actually funny. This is probably the best “Santa as a serial killer” song ever. Sleigh bells and jangly guitars back a stern warning about making Santa’s acquaintance on Christmas. You don’t want to find out what’s in his sack!
Track 15 The Christmas Song, Mark Jonathan Davis as Lt. Hikaru Sulu (1995)
See notes to Track 8, HERE.
Track 14 Christmas All Over Again, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (1992)
The death of Tom Petty on October 2 was unexpected and profoundly sad, as he was, in many ways at the top of his game and widely recognized as among the most successful musicians in rock history. He had spent the previous six months on a nationwide tour with his longtime band the Heartbreakers, finishing it up with a hugely successful performance at the Hollywood Bowl exactly one week before his death. Between his work with the Heartbreakers and the Traveling Wilburys and as a solo performer, Petty sold close to 90 million records, and he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2001. I had a couple of different shows at my college radio station in Baltimore, WJHU-FM, and I prominently featured Petty's music on each of them. Starting with "Breakdown" in 1977, "I Need to Know" the following year, the album "Damn the Torpedoes" in 1979 and 1981's "Hard Promises," there was always a Tom Petty record within easy reach of my turntable.
Track 13 The Best Santy Claus I Ever Heard, Andy Griffith and Don Knotts (1960)
Don Knotts as Deputy Barney Fife
As I noted five years ago, The Andy Griffith Show has always been one of my very favorite programs. I ran across this brief clip several years ago on the wonderful Check the Cool Wax blog and adding it to the mix was an easy call. I could be way off on this, but I think including short little bits like this between songs not only helps to break things up but also seems to pick up the pace of the whole CD, thereby making for a more upbeat feel. If you don't believe me, search for any of the classic Check the Cool Wax mixes, many of which are relatively easy to find via Google. Unfortunately, I've only just now noticed that the blog seems to have stopped in its tracks in early 2015 and I've been unable to locate any explanation anywhere. I'm hoping there's some good explanation for this -- like maybe the blog switched to a different hosting service? The blog's author who goes by the name Brainwerk is obviously a very talented entertainer who's responsible for a lot of smiles and laughter -- not just during the holiday season but throughout the year. I hope all's well.
This clip comes from Season 1 Episode 11, of The Andy Griffith Show, "The Christmas Story," and it's a classic. It's also the only Christmas-themed show in the entire series. While many episodes of this series are apparently in the public domain and therefore freely available online, this one isn/t. The only version I could come across is available HERE, but it comes in a pretty creepy format. See if you can block the woman watching with you from your mind while you watch. I know I couldn't.
Looks like we've fallen hopelessly behind with our look at this year's tracks, so I've accepted the fact that this enjoyable exercise will continue until well after Christmas Day. Hey, that's OK. It's kind of fun to be able to stretch the Christmas season past its ordinary limits. Ready to get back to work? Well, I am . . . so here we go!
Track 12 One Christmas Catalog Too Many, Captain Sensible (1984)
The lyrics to this song don't make a whole lot of sense, and I don't suppose it's a track many people have ever heard. It's got a catchy enough beat and a tuneful melody, I guess, and it's probably worth including on that basis alone. But there's another reason I chose this song for this year's mix and that has to do with another song by the artist who made this one. This track and the other are by a guy named Raymond Ian Jones, a British singer/songwriter better known as Captain Sensible. He was one of the co-founders of the punk group The Damned, which was among the first group of British punk bands to catch on back in the late 1970s. Sensible has also enjoyed a moderately successful solo career before, during and after his his work with The Damned. I can recall hearing his version of "Jet Boy, Jet Girl" back in the day, and his cover version of the song "Happy Talk" from South Pacific made it all the way to #1 on the British charts in 1982. But I first became acquainted with Captain Sensible as the guy who wrote a pop song about one of my favorite characters in Washington political history -- one of the genuine heroes of the Watergate scandal, the inimitable Martha Mitchell.
I was just finishing the 6th grade when a group of agents from the Committee to Re-Elect the President (CREEP) were arrested in Washington's Watergate Hotel as they tried to bug the offices of the Chairman of the Democratic Party on behalf of Republican Richard Nixon in June of 1972. Nixon was running for re-election that year and he desperately wanted to not only win but win big. Knowing that a very large portion of the electorate opposed both him and his policies, Nixon and his henchmen decided that their best shot was to rig the Democratic contest to ensure that the opposition party nominated its weakest challenger, Senator George McGovern, and then paint him as a crazy kook far outside of the American mainstream. And they succeeded. The bugging of the Watergate was just one small piece of an elaborate scheme that included manufacturing fake news, interfering with Democratic rallies and events, raising millions in illegal campaign contributions, and even breaking into the psychiatrist's office of a well-known Nixon opponent. By Election Day, the Nixon team managed to secure exactly what Nixon had wanted -- a landslide election victory. They had also managed to keep the arrest of the Watergate burglars from becoming a major story. But once Nixon was sworn in for his second term, the story started to capture the nation's attention, due in no small part to the outspoken and colorful Martha Mitchell.
Martha and John Mitchell, c. 1973
Martha was already a major public figure as the Watergate story took off, for she was the wife of John Mitchell, former attorney general and the manager of Nixon's re-election campaign. In fact, Martha herself was one of the original founders of CREEP. During most of Nixon's first term she was a stalwart defender of the President. She had a high profile and her sharp tongue was frequently unleashed against the liberals and hippies whose criticism of her husband and the President led her to suggest they be "torn limb from limb." However, one of the men arrested for the break-in was a man named James McCord, a former CIA agent who had also worked for a time as a security guard for Martha and her daughter. Unlike many other observers, Martha realized almost at once that the Watergate break-in was a Nixon operation and with one of the chief architects of the operation and cover-up living under her same roof she had access to more information than most about what was going on. To her credit, she did what she could to set things right.
It wasn't easy. Following the arrest of the burglars, CREEP sent several thugs to detain her against her will in a California hotel. When one of them discovered Martha on the phone with the UPI's Helen Thomas, he grabbed the receiver out of Martha's hand and ripped the phone from the wall. Several others threw her onto the bed and held her down while she was forcibly sedated. Then the Nixon people put out the word: Martha was crazy; she was an alcoholic; she was delusional. Yet Martha persisted, decrying the administration's illegal activities and calling on Nixon to resign.
Martha with Merv Griffin
Eventually, the various official investigations revealed that Martha's reports were anything but crazy. She and former White House counsel John Dean are now widely recognized as the true whistleblowers of Watergate. Tragically, Martha died of cancer less than two years after Nixon's resignation. At her sparsely attended funeral someone sent a large collection of flowers that spelled out the words "Martha Was Right." While her good sense and courage fail to receive the respect they are due, her name is now invoked as the name of a unique psychological condition. The Martha Mitchell effect describes a situation where someone has made claims so preposterous on their face that the reporter is diagnosed as delusional, only the claims are later determined to be accurate.
So why the long diatribe about Watergate in what's supposed to be a humble little Christmas music blog? I don't know, I've long been taken by Martha Mitchell's story as the unlikely hero of the Watergate scandal, and my hat's off to Captain Sensible who appears to have felt similarly some 33 years ago when he wrote and recorded "Martha the Mouth." Of course, more than a few observers are drawing parallels between the current administration and the Nixon White House. Both appear to be under fire, both appear to have engaged in treacherous and illegal activities, and both seem to have trouble telling the truth. Today, as then, we need a colorful and brutally honest character to step into the ring and tell it like it is.
Track 11 I'm Christmas Day, The Three Stooges (1955)
Back when I was growing up, it seemed like The Three Stooges were always on TV. They were particularly popular on the lower-budget UHF stations, where they had a certain allure for pre-adolescent boys (to whom Moe's swagger and violent tendencies were appealing) and older men (who likely appreciated the bygone era their black and white reels conjured up). I never liked the Stooges myself. Not these Stooges, at least. (I was partial to the ones who played with Iggy.) I recoiled instinctively every time the sadistic Moe belittled Larry, or poked his finger's in Curly's eyes. But I clearly recall pretending that I liked them in front of certain of my friends. It seemed like the cool thing to do -- better, certainly, than having them think of me as soft or effete. I suppose I felt a little of that same feeling this year when I opted to include their shabby little excerpt on this year's mix. I probably deserve a quick poke in the eye for that. And maybe the Hugh Hefner clip, as well. Ouch!
If you are a fan of the Three Stooges, you may enjoy this bit by Billy West, the comedian, voice actor and former radio personality:
Track 10 Melt Our Way Out, The Rosebuds (2012)
This is, without question, my favorite track on this year's CD. It comes from the 2012 album Christmas Tree Island, a wonderful collection of original holiday tunes by the indie rock band The Rosebuds. The group is based in Raleigh, North Carolina and consists of musicians Ivan Howard and Kelly Crisp. They're a prolific duo with a unique and very tasty sound not to mention a fun sense of humor and what appears to be a strong commitment to basic Christmas sensibilities. I strongly recommend checking out Christmas Tree Island in its entirety, and the rest of their catalog, too, but the track I used and "Christmas in New York" are truly outstanding. Listen to them below and support the band with a purchase, if you can.
Several years ago, this blog started an inspiring little tradition to help our readers adjust to the end of the holiday season by posting the most dreadful holiday movie imaginable each Boxing Day.Why? Oh, I don't know. It seemed like a good way to bridge that huge divide between the thrills and beauty of Christmas and the despair and let-down of the following day. I can assure you of one thing, we'll be able to test out this theory for quite a few more seasons yet as there is an awful lot of dreadful material out there. And I'm not talking about three or four stars on a five-point scale. I'm talking about vile, nauseating films that leave you wondering how in the name of God anyone outside of a sheltered workshop would ever have anything to do with them,
